So my last farm post has been a few months ago. Farm life has been tough as we are in the throes of “the bad year” and while I know having a farm means being close friends with Death it doesn’t mean I enjoy the visits.
We lost Bingley to a pasture accident and Rosalea and Maddy to old age and possibly a broken heart with Maddy… I knew she would not stay long after Belle as those two were closely paired. One of our oldest cats, Sheegwa, recently passed as well after an altercation with a couple of stray dogs that turned up in our woods.
And then because that wasn’t enough, we hit the teenage years with the children. SJ spoiled us with her easy waltz into the teen years. The boys haven’t been so kind. They are excellent kids mind you, but I was ill prepared for teen-age boy emotions and dramatics. I feel sorry for them really. They managed to get a hyper aware mother, hyper aware grandmother and eccentrically attentive father. They can’t catch a break. SJ communicates tacitly more often than not, and years spent observing body language in the horses and other farm animals mean that I notice even the slightest “tell” in body language. And the boys’ “tells” are pretty easy. And when they try to “pull the wool” as many teen-aged boys do… they run into J.
It’s been tiring. I think I completely shut down all social interaction from January until recently because I just couldn’t deal. I was using so much energy to just hold it all together that I didn’t have anything left. Friends were going through their own personal hells and I didn’t feel like I could be there for them and save myself at the same time. We finally worked out a code for “I’m overwhelmed and don’t know what to say but I’m with you” by sending “…” just so we knew that some one was listening even though we didn’t have it in us to talk.
I have an alarming number of “…” messages. It would appear that we weren’t the only ones having a tough year.
It’s my hope to work with the blog more this year. I’ve found inspiration in helping one of my high school best friends start a blog to chronicle her life changing move away from corporate work. She and her daughter are embracing a more nomadic lifestyle in hopes of improving her daughter’s health. As soon as her blog is up and running I will link to it as I’m sure their adventures will be incredible!
And then there are my friends with established blogs that just blow me away with their creativity. I’m overwhelmed by all that they do and they inspire me to write more and find my old story-telling voice again. Be prepared for farm stories, life stories, hauls, hobbies, reviews and the ever popular rambles. I hope everyone will weather this brief period of uncertainty with me as I find my blogging mojo once again. I’ve missed writing so much and realizing how rusty I am is frustrating but I’m determined and that’s half the challenge sometimes 🙂